A Few More Miles

Andrews University 2001. After completing the Master’s in Youth Ministry, I was not drafted into the work. After directing the Deliverance Choir, I searched for another academic study direction. I was accepted into the MA Counseling Psychology program at Andrews University. I spent one semester. Then received the call to Allegheny East as a Bible worker to DuPont Park, First Church, and Breath of Life, which only lasted for two months before being called to Pastoral Ministry. The interest in counseling stayed with me. The impact of one semester intrigued me.

Two years later, Dr. David Defoe, an associate of the Metropolitan Church, enrolled at Bowie State University. He dragged me along with him. One semester later, I dropped out. With three children under 10 years old, two churches, and a wife just starting her dream job at NIH, I knew I couldn’t. 

The interest came alive again when bouts of depression and anxiety were prevalent in my life. I sought therapy and maintained an everyday life with few distractions. 

God directed me back to one of my greatest loves, “youth ministry.” I saw parents and children struggling. One year, there was a plethora of self-harm. Pastors were also attempting. I knew in approximately 2015, I had to “come out” and discuss mental health in the open. I had the platform to discuss depression, anxiety, and more than anything else, “religious trauma.” The emails and DMs from the saints were overwhelming. How can a pastor struggle mentally? “You cannot be a Christian and be depressed.” I knew I had work to do. I used social media, pulpits, lock-ins, purity balls, youth congresses, AYS, and many more venues to push mental health awareness. 

The turning point was at PELC 2018—Pastoral Evangelism LC. I had an opportunity to address pastors concerning my mental health journey and breaking the stigma. Directly after the session, Chaplain Paul Anderson was moved to encourage me. One of the nuggets he left for me was to authenticate this message by returning to school for higher education. I was also encouraged by David Sedlacek. A few men whom I have watched in my early ministry—I wanted to emulate their preaching style with the tool of therapy. Dr. Jones, Dr. Amos Hosten, Dr. Marcus Harris, and Dr. John Trusty. 

David Defoe, though younger than me ( your mentors can be younger), walked me into the Counseling Program in 2018. He was a professor there teaching research. I sat in his class, and a year later, I enrolled. It was September 2019. It was rough because it was evening classes, and being a director in youth ministry, most of your meetings are in the evenings when your volunteers are home from work. I called them non-paid employees. Orien Clairmont, “the boss,” was more than an administrative assistant. She navigated the work more like a director herself. We began outlining a book for management called “He thinks he’s the boss.” Maybe we will finish writing that memoir.

In March of 2020, the pandemic hit hard. I was in uncharted territory at home, work, and school. My learning needed to be in the classroom. Online learning was daunting for me. Nevertheless, I was able to finish my degree in a little less than 2 years. Still hammering away. I followed Dr. Defoe into the PhD program at Regent University in Virginia. It was fun, hard work, and heavy reading. My private focus was technology and mental health. But I longed to understand and unpack how religion has caused many mental health disparities. I now see Christ and grace differently. I no longer ask, “What's wrong with that person?” I now ask, “What happened to that person? I didn’t ask what’s wrong with me. I now ask, “What happened to me?” It changed my world, and my responsibility is to invite people, despite their struggles, to accept God's gift, Christ Jesus, and his grace. Dr. Kesslyn, thank you for every podcast that motivated me not to quit.

My last class was in 2023, and my research continued. I finished on July 16th with a doctorate. 

Goals. To launch an app for those who need anxiety suppressed through Christian methods.

To practice therapy mental coaching.

To offer my members peace through Christ Jesus.

To Natalie, who has six more months to complete her doctorate at the time of this, I appreciate your patience. 

My children… You have more of my attention now.

To Orien the heavy lifter.

To Trisan Garnett The editor , Wow

To Garry Graham, the guru of mental health.

Paul “peaso” Graham for paving the way. 

Hey, I’m still me. Just a couple of letters that will allow me to build some tables I could not sit on.